Should Auld Acquaintance
by MaryFan1
Summary: Season 8 AU after 8X7. Rick and Kate have divorced but could a chance meeting change things? One shot for now but can continue if there is interest.
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N This is a little one shot AU Season 8 starting episode 8 and beyond. After Castle confronts Kate in Episode 8 they don't get back together and eventually divorce. Also the shooting at the loft didn't happen. I know some of you will probably hate this but it's been in my head and I could continue it if there is interest_**

/

He sat at the kitchen counter nursing a scotch. She'd lied to him _._ She'd been gone for thirty six hours and he found out she had lied then, too. Then after promising no more secrets, she lied again. She walked out on him leaving him hurt, bewildered and angry. She'd gone down a rabbit hole again. Chasing Loksat and shutting him out all under the guise of protecting him. They were supposed to be partners. In crime and in life. Always. She didn't even think of coming to him with this. A soft knock on the door shook him from his thoughts. He got up and crossed the expansive open space of the loft and answered it, not completely surprised to see her there.

"You were right." She blurts out as she walks past him into the loft, "You were right about everything."

"Okay." He says slowly, "Could you be more specific?"

"About pretending to break up and go after Loksat together. You were absolutely right."

"Yeah, I wish you had come to me." He says

"Well, I'm here now. So let's do it." She says

"Its' not that easy." He says

"But I thought you would – "

"I would just take you back after everything you put me through." He cuts her off

She sighs heavily, "Look, Castle, I hate that I hurt you. That's never what I wanted."

He looks at her in disbelief, "What did you think would happen, Kate, when you left? That I would just put up with this indefinitely?"

"I was trying to protect you." She explains again

"We've been in dangerous situations the entire time we've known each other. But this time you cut me out with some lame excuse about needing time." He says, his anger increasing

"Rick, please. I need you. Don't make me do this without you." She pleads

He looks at her for a moment, "You chose to do it without me when you left and my guess is you wouldn't be here now if I hadn't found out. So what makes you think I'm going to take you back?"

"I thought you would understand why I did it." She says quietly, "I guess I was wrong." She starts to head for the door but he stops her

"Do you remember what you said when I got my P.I license?" He asks

She turns back to him but doesn't respond.

"You said married people tell each other things." He says, "At the time it was kind of tongue in cheek because I had intended it as a surprise. But you really seem to have forgotten that. You promised no more secrets after you were gone for thirty six hours but that was a lie."

"I didn't want to lie to you. I…" The words stick in her throat because she knows there is no more she can say to explain her behavior

"Kate." He says with a heavy sigh, "If you want my help taking down loksat, you have it. But our marriage is another matter. I need time."

/

And she had given him time. They did successfully bring down Loksat. Mason Wood, Caleb Brown and all the others are now dead. They could breathe again. After all the dust had settled they find themselves at the place where many of their most important conversations had taken place. The place where she had told him about that wall and where he had proposed. Where they had discussed her being approached to run for state senate. They sit quietly for a while neither sure where to begin.

"Thank you." She finally says

"You don't have to thank me, Kate." He replies

"So, where does this leave us?" She asks, steeling herself for his response

"I wish I could say all is forgiven and we can just pick up where we left off." She admits, "But I can't."

She takes in a ragged breath, "So, you want a divorce?"

"I don't think I can trust you not to leave again." He explains

She desperately fights back the tears, "I'm sorry, Castle. I never wanted it to be like this."

"I know." He replies then gets up and walks away

/

The city is covered in a blanket of fresh snow and filled with the hustle and bustle of the holidays. It's Christmas Day and she's at work. As captain she didn't have to be but her dad was at the cabin and she wasn't going to sit alone in her apartment. The skeleton crew is there and Karpowski is just arriving for the evening shift. Esposito is with his mother and extended family and Ryan and Jenny are at her parents with the kids. She's keeping watch while others celebrate, packing Christmas up for good again.

"Hey, captain, anything to report?" Roz asks from the doorway of Kate's office

"No, thankfully it's quiet." She replies

"I think there's some wine in the fridge. Why don't we knock back a glass or two?"

Kate seems to debate internally for a moment, "Sure, why not." She agrees with a weak smile

"Great, I'll be right back." Roz walks toward the break

Kate opens her desk drawer to look for cups and she finds her stick man.

 _On the worst days there's still the possibility for joy_

She thinks about what must be happening at the Castle loft. The big dinner was the night before. Christmas day usually meant sleeping in and eating brunch then presents, followed by curling up on the couch watching Christmas movies. Their first Christmas together as husband and wife had been bittersweet. He'd been banned from working cases and didn't have the heart to tell her at the precinct's Christmas party. He smiled as she read her first official entry in the Castle family Christmas card.

 _As partners go, we're here to stay_

She'd broken every promise she had made to him.

"Alright, here we go." Roz says as she enters Kate's office and takes a seat in a chair in front of her desk

Kate offers another smile, "I've got cups."

Roz pours the wine and recorks the bottle, setting it on her desk, "Merry Christmas, Boss."

"Merry Christmas, Roz." Kate replies, Roz wasn't the closest of friends even after all these years but she was a good cop and Beckett often thought if she ever moved on Roz would be her choice to replace her

"You okay, Beckett?" She asks

"Yeah, I'm okay." Kate replies, "So, how was your mom?"

"Better, thanks. Glad I got to be with her some today." Roz replies as she sips her wine

A thick silence hung between them until Roz finally spoke again

"Is your dad at the cabin?" She asks

"Uh, yeah, he'll be back tomorrow."

Roz takes a sip of wine to give herself time to decide how to say what she wants to say next, "I'm really sorry about you and Castle."

Kate sighs heavily, "I know."

"Why don't you get out of here?" Roz suggests, "We've got this."

The thought of going home to her empty apartment doesn't appeal to her, "Nowhere for me to go, Roz."

/

A few hours later she finally leaves and decides to see if any place is open where she can get a late night bite to eat. She passes by Remy's, too many memories of sharing burgers and fries after closing a tough case. She decides on a little diner that is always open. She walks in and almost does a double take. He's sitting there with his back to the door.

 _Why is he here? He should be home with his family._

She cautiously approaches him, "Rick?" She says quietly

His head snaps up in her direction, "Kate?"

She offers him a nervous smile, "I didn't mean to bother you but…would you mind if I sit down?"

He studies her face, her eyes are still gorgeous, but something is missing, "Uh, yeah sure."

She takes the seat across from him, "What are you doing here? I mean, it's late. I thought you'd…"

"Alexis went to be with friends and mother is spending some time with her new beau." He explains, "What about you?"

"I was at work. But it was quiet. The night shift has it under control."

"Captains don't usually work on Christmas." He observes

"I didn't have anywhere to go." She says trying to be more matter of fact that it probably sounds

"Your dad at the cabin?" he asks

"Yes, he'll be home tomorrow." She responds

He just nods and an uncomfortable silence fills the space until Kate works up her never to speak again

"Rick, I…"

He holds up his hand, "No, don't."

"I love you. I never stopped." She says, "I was wrong. I should have come to you and we could have figured it out."

"Why couldn't you have just given it up, Kate?" He asks, "It wasn't your job to investigate it. You think a whole team of federal agents being killed wouldn't have been investigated? We had so much to look forward to. You became captain. What you always wanted. We even talked about kids."

"I…I wanted to get justice." She says weakly, knowing it's no real excuse, "You used to love that about me."

"Kate, you're not the only person capable of doing that. But it's like you're addicted to it. You have to be the one that saves everyone and everyone and everything else be damned. You got Bracken for your mother's murder. But that wasn't enough."

"Loksat helped him, Rick. I couldn't just walk away."

 _I'm not built that way_

"Well, Bracken was right. You couldn't be satisfied just being my wife or being captain."

"Rick, that's not true. I love you. I wanted a life with you." She says

"You had it and you threw it away." He replies bitterly

She sighs heavily, "I didn't want the divorce, Rick."

"How was I supposed to believe you wouldn't leave again?" he asks, "and don't tell me there wouldn't be a next time."

"I'm here now. The Castle I know would say this is the universe telling us something."

"Kate…"

"Rick, I really want to try again. You were…are more important than any case and I stupidly lost sight of that. Do you think you could find it in your heart to…to give me a chance to show you that?"

He looks at her but doesn't answer, his expression unreadable.

She sighs again and stands up to leave, "Would you think about it?

He gives her a small nod

She gives him a soft smile, "Merry Christmas, Castle." She turns and heads for the door

"Kate." He says

She turns form the door to look at him, "Yeah."

"Merry Christmas."

She smiles again and turns to leave.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Sorry it has taken me so long to update. Sometimes life gets in the way. Also someone said something about Rick hiding Loksat from Kate (Ep 8x15). Well this is AU after 8/7 so that didn't necessarily happen…now on to the story**

 **/**

Christmas had come and gone and New Years Eve was approaching. He had spent a lot of time thinking about what she had said. Could he risk his heart again? The problem wasn't that he didn't love her. He always would. The problem was could he live with someone who would shut him out when things got rough? Could Bracken have been right? He had decided Bracken was right. She couldn't be happy just being his wife. Just being the Captain of the 12th and maybe even move up from there. She couldn't let it go and leave it to the people who were tasked with investigating it. The murder of an entire team of federal agents wasn't going to be swept under the rug. But she had seemed sincere in her wish to give them another chance. She was his rabbit hole. Would he go down it again or walk away? He sat at his desk trying to write but it was pointless. He couldn't concentrate.

"Richard, darling?" He heard his mother calling

"In here, Mother." He replied as he rubbed his tired his and scraped his hand over his face

"Well, hello there." She greeted with a warm smile as she appeared in the doorway of his office, "Are you getting any writing done?"

He sighed heavily, "No, not really."

Martha eyed her son and she knew something was weighing on him, "What wrong, Darling?"

He looked up at her, "I saw Kate the other day."

"Oh, I see." She replied, no one could affect her son like this except Kate Beckett, "and how is she?"

"Uh, good I suppose." He replied, "She, uh, wants to get back together."

"Ah, well Darling, you were the one who wanted the divorce." She said and held up her hand as he started to speak, "I'm not excusing what she did. But Richard, she thought she was protecting you."

"I know. But I how can I be with someone who just takes off and shuts me out. We were a team but she stopped acting like it."

"Richard, you know I've always been fond of her. Certainly more than your other ex-wives. But you are the two most stubborn people on the planet and once you two got your heads out of your…well… you are good for each other. Are you really going to say that your happier without her?"

He looked up at her again the answer written all over his face.

/

She wasn't expecting it but the ping of her phone caused hope to rise in her heart. It was as text from him.

 _I think we need to talk. Do you have plans NYE?_

She smiled slightly.

 _I don't. Where and when?_

His reply came almost immediately

 _The loft 8 pm I'll have a late dinner for us_

 _Sounds good, see u then_

She started to sign with an X but thought better of it and sent the reply as it was, butterflies in her stomach notwithstanding and returned to her work unable to stop her mouth from curling into a soft smile.

/

She sat nervously in the familiar waiting room. How long had it been since she'd been here? Years. Initially to get clearance after her shooting but then to be better. Better for him and she'd almost lost him. She was startled out of her thoughts as the door opened.

"Hello, Kate." Dr. Carter Burke greeted, "Come on in."

"Thank you for seeing me." She replied as she took a seat in one of the chairs

"Not a problem." He replied, "So what brings you here today?"

She sighed heavily, "Where do I begin?" She paused with a laugh, "I guess you know that Rick and I are divorced. It was just finalized a couple of month ago."

"Hmm…I had heard that yes."

"Well, I ran into him Christmas night. I stayed late at work and stopped at a diner on the way home. He was there, alone. His mother and daughter off dong their own thing after their Christmas celebration. Anyway, we talked for a few minutes and I told him…I told him I wanted to give our relationship another chance."

"And what did he say?"

"Nothing really. I just told him to think about it and he called me yesterday and wants to get together to talk New Year's Eve. At his loft."

"I see. So you think this is a good sign?"

"I don't know. I hurt him, a lot." She replied regret tinging her voice

"What happened between you, exactly?" Burke asked

"It started with a case we were helping the Feds with. Long story short my old AG team was killed and the person responsible was connected to Senator Bracken, who had my mother killed. This person was his partner. I didn't tell Rick and went off on my investigating. I left him with some excuse about needing time to sort stuff out. He found out what was really going on and of course he was angry."

"He didn't want to work things out?" Burke asked as he made notes

"He helped us take down Loksat, that's the name the guy went by. A corrupt CIA agent. But after that he said he couldn't trust me. I forgot we were a team. He was right."

"So why did you chose to do this?"

"I was told that anyone I loved would be killed if I investigated and so I pushed him away thinking I was protecting him. He said we could have worked together and broken up only as a cover. He said I like being broken."

"Do you?" Burked asked

"Like being broken?" She replied, "I guess I never looked at it like that but I can't just let things go. I'm not built like that."

"But weren't other people investigating? I mean, a whole team of agents were killed."

"I felt like I had to. I had to do it because of my mom. This guy was partners with the man who killed her."

"Yes, but that man, Bracken was sent to prison. You got justice for your mother."

"That's what everyone said. Why don't I just leave it alone and live my life with my wonderful husband?" She signed again, "I don't know why. I guess I just can't let things go but if I don't learn how to I know I can't make things right with him."

"So that's why you've decided to come back into therapy."

"Yes, maybe it will show him I'm serious, which I am." She said, "I made him think the case was more important than us even though it was to protect him. He was right. We've always worked better as a team. I lied to a lot of people. My detectives, my best friend."

"Okay, but this is going to be hard. Maybe harder than the last time. You'll have to change your way of thinking, Kate. You're not the only one who can get justice for people."

"Before Bracken died Rick saw him and Bracken told him I'd never be happy just being his wife. I'd always have to go off chasing something."

"Is there any truth to that?"

"I love Rick and I was happy being his wife. I was so scared of losing him that I made bad choices. I don't want to do that anymore."

"As long as you are willing to put in the work we can get you there, in time."

Kate nodded, "I am. I'll do anything."

/

She stood in front of his door for the first time in a long time. She had never been so nervous. Not knowing what he would say. Had he decided he was right in divorcing her? Did she even stand a chance? She took a deep breath and knocked on the door. In moments it swung open and he stood before her.

"Hey." He breathes out

"Hey." She stood almost frozen, "Oh I uh brought wine."

He smiled slightly, "Great. Uh, come on in."

She stepped inside and he helped her off with her coat. Taking in the surroundings not much had changed at least in main living area. But she imagined any photos with her have long been put away.

"Oh, let me take that. Dinner will be ready in just minute. Chicken carbonara." He explained as he headed back to the kitchen

"Smells great, Rick." She replied following him over, "Can I help with anything?"

"No, I've got it covered." He replied, 'Shall I?" he gestured to the wine bottle

"Yes." She replied and he poured two glasses for them

She took a sip and smiled, "Thank you…for calling me."

"Kate, let's eat first, okay?" He asked

"Sure, of course." She replied with a nod

They eat dinner in relative silence and she helps him clean up. He suggests they sit on the sofa with their wine.

"Look, Kate I have thought about what you said but I really don't know what to tell you. I love you. That never changed but I need someone who treats me like a partner. You used to understand that."

She looked down pondering her words, "I know that and I know that I screwed up royally. I love you too and I was just so scared of losing you I thought I was doing the right thing. But I know I didn't. I want to. That why…"

"Why what?" He asked

"Why I'm going back into therapy."

He was shocked, "Therapy?"

"I saw Dr. Burke a couple of days ago. I need to understand why I did what I did so I don't do it again. Nothing was more important to me than us. I just did a terrible job of showing it. I realize now it doesn't always have to be me against the world. I need to change my way of thinking."

"I'm proud of you for doing that." He acknowledged

"But…it's not enough is it?" She whispered

"I didn't say that. But I'm not ready to marry you again." He explained

"I know. But are you willing to work on it with me? Let me prove to you that I can do this. Maybe you could…could come with me to one of my sessions?"

"You mean like couples therapy?" He asked

"Well, I'm the one who needs to do the work but it might help if you can see firsthand. If Dr. Burke approves. I want to work on being more open and honest and also not have such a hero complex. You were right…about me being broken."

"Kate, I can't say that this will solve everything but, of course, I'm willing to try. I know how hard it is for you open up."

She nodded and took a deep breath, then lifted her glass, "To trying?"

He smiled softly, "To trying."

 ** _A/N: Thanks for reading. One more chapter maybe more. This story is kind of telling me what to do lol_**


End file.
